Reflecting

What does it all mean?

I was thinking about the things I’ve been through in my life (good and bad), and realized…..damn, my life has just begun. Sometimes I want just a little itty bitty glimpse of what’s to come so I know what I’m in for because man, I didn’t expect half of what has happened lol. Try to keep up here….Just this year, I was working on getting something I really wanted and this opportunity was so unexpected. Needless to say I was confused on how it happened but freaking happy that things were starting to make sense. I remember having this powerful and meaningful prayer with Big Man on my hotel balcony, overlooking a river with beautiful lights and all. It was just beautiful scenery, beautiful words, wind blowing…just LIFE! lol I’m feeling so optimistic and good.

Fast forward a few weeks….it seemed like a matter of days, things changed. I no longer had that opportunity but it had worked out for the best, so it seemed. Though something was gone that I was excited about, I got something that I ultimately wanted for a loooong time and I was SUPER happy and excited about it. I was thinking about my powerful prayer I had and concluded this was why I felt so good; not because what I thought was to come, but what Big Man knew was to come.

FAST THE FUCK FORWARD again, I really don’t understand what happened, but I really want it to unhappen lol. That special moment is gone. I’m calling it a moment because it wasn’t even long enough to consider it my life. I’m ready to fast forward again, because now I’m just sitting in these thoughts of what happened and having something I wanted then having it taken away twice just to end up no where is crazy. I just don’t understand why. What’s crazier is that there is nothing I would’ve done differently because I followed my heart and prayed about everything. It wasn’t me in control.

I hope to have a fast forward positive moment soon. The only thing that is constant in life is change, so I’m sure I will. These setbacks are preparing me for a major comeback. I know so because if it came once, it’ll come again, even better than before. #Amen

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Follower of Christ, mommy, wife, entrepreneur, emotional being, wholesome food eater, reality tv watcher, professional laugher, wisdom seeker, and human just trying to figure it all out.

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